Grab your box of tissues, chick flick, pint of Ben & Jerry’s and – your ATM card? That’s right, Bank of America. We’ve got some breaking up to do.
You see, it’s not you; it’s me. Well, actually, it really is you. You’re too big to fail and I just don’t think you’re strong enough to make it through hard times.
But, dear banking behemoth, it doesn’t have to hurt. As smaller, less complex institutions, you wouldn’t put us all in jeopardy if your strength did slip (and a New York University study predicted you’re the most likely to).
There are things you can do to feel better.
Put a little pep back in your step with some heartfelt belted oldies. You remember that old diddy, “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do,” don’t you? Well, here’s a new spin.
There’s nothing better to cheer you up than seeing Geithner get down, Bernanke boogie and Paulson get frisky for finance. We couldn’t forget Ken Lewis or Brian Moynihan either. Let’s break it down and break them up.
Public Citizen presents, “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do,” Bank of America style.